Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What is the meanest thing your husband has said to you?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy bullshit

Does the interpretation of the Book of בראשית create in all generations the Chosen Cohen People יש מאין?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

— we are metamorphosing!

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I see through liars

What are examples of real life forced feminization?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What are the most outrageous violations of restaurant buffet etiquette have you seen?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I actually pay taxes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Report: Women's sports athletes to file appeal on House vs. NCAA settlement citing Title IX violations - On3.com

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know who the president of Turkey really is

We've Been Misreading a Major Law of Physics For Nearly 300 Years - ScienceAlert

I can count

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What are some prime examples of gibberish from the bible?

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why do some people dislike rap and hip hop music despite there being poor quality music in every genre?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What do people with very high IQs do all day?

I can read

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Do polyphenols in mushrooms fight cancer or cause side effects?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

What was the worst spanking you ever got? Why did you get it, and how was it given to you?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Watch: Moment crowd boos and cheers Trump at Kennedy Center - BBC

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why do people hate on Serena (anime character)? What did she ever do to anyone except be a good friend to Ash Ketchum and an awesome trainer herself?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What was your first trans experience like?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”